The Idiot Line

So let me tell you a true story about my parking lot experience this morning. When I got out of class a few minutes early, I walked back to the OSU Med. Center parking lot where I always park in the morning. Most people don't show up till 9 so it's great for me and then I always get to make one person's lucky day by giving them a spot when I leave.

Up near the entrance, the traffic flow splits to go one way or the other and most people have little ingenuity or ability to think, let alone outside a box or other containment device that's less thick than their skull, so they stack up and just wait for a parking spot to free up. This can take forever, especially if you consider that there's very few parking spots opening up and that the smart people would roam the lot looking for the spots rather than waiting on the guy at the front of a line to see one and leave. It's impossible to describe the stupidity of this line.

Well, today as I walked into the lot, this girl started gesturing at me through her window. I was like, well, whatever, and pointed in the direction I was walking so she would know I was freeing up a spot. She rolls down her window and asks where I'm going. "Four rows down on the far end". We're talking about still a 3-4 minute walk down there on the ice. She then motions for me to come over. Thinking I could finagle a ride to my car, I walked over and then what she said shocked me, "You need to walk up to the front of that line and tell the person waiting for you to follow me so that they will get a spot and this line will move". Mind you, she's not even pulled into the line yet but I have deduced that this might truly be the biggest moron yet because she knows I'm opening up a spot and still, she's going to get into the idiot line to watch clouds float while telling me that I owe it to her to go get the guy at the front of the idiot line and take him to my spot.

My response after being dumbfounded for a moment was, "No, I'm walking over to my car". She replies, "Well, where are you parked?". I tell her again. She asks if I will lead her to my spot. "Well, will you give me a ride?". She hesitates and I gave up on her and started walking. As she rolls up her window, I left her sitting there. By the time I was in my car and pulling out of the lot she had finally found me and my spot, which was now filled by a car who had a happy driver with half a brain. Who are you that you thought you had the right to tell me what to do?